A plague of pirate-itis hits
Our sunny seaside town
No more the tranquil tourist spot
For many who come down.
On Wednesdays folk are feeling fine
Life’s as normal as can be
But overnight the pirate plague
Rolls in across the sea.
It sneaks in through the windows
And the keyholes in each door,
Changing people into pirates
From the rich down to the poor.
Pirate grannies, pirate babies
Pirate grown ups, kids and dogs
Am I going pirate crazy?
I’d best stay hidden or I’ll be flogged!
All these pirates taking over
Raiding shops and stealing ships
They drink rum all night and party
Whilst eating tasty fish and chips.
But when the town clock chimes at ten
The pirates start to yawn
They tidy up the mess they made
And go home to sleep til dawn.
On Fridays all is right as rain
It’s back to work we go
No memory of yesterday –
I’m the only one who knows.
Now I know you might be wondering
Why I am immune
To this plague of pirate-itis
That turns my neighbours into loons
Well you see I wasn’t born here
I came across the open sea
With my parrot and my eye patch,
The only real pirate is me!
So every Thursday I start singing
Sea shantys loud and true
And pirate-itis rolls on in
Bringing fun for me and you!