Dinner was ready, we all washed our hands,
We were all very hungry, you must understand,
Then we heard a soft buzz, a flitter, a flutter,
And suddenly Dad leapt up like a nutter,
“There’s a fly in the house! It’s come to get me!
You’re mad if you think I can just eat my tea!”
“Get me a tea towel! Get me the spray!
That mini beast better start flying away!”
So we leapt to our feet and got ready to pounce,
As we quietly crept round each room of the house.
The fly fluttered softly and had a look round,
Whilst Dad muttered “shhh now don’t make a sound”,
With the stealth of a panther, the strength of a bear
Dad straddled the sofa and bounced off the chair,
He swung on the lampshade and flew to the mat,
Narrowly missing our terrified cat!
He opened the door and the window too
And stood – spray in one hand, in the other- a shoe,
The tea towel he’d tied in a strip round his head
He muttered, “That flys gonna wish he was dead!”
With an unflustered fuzzing, a blasé little buzz,
The fly flew over the top of us,
It went to the window, and nearly flew out-
We all held our breath but it turned roundabout!
“Get me the hoover! Get me the mop!
This insect invasion has got to stop!
Get me some honey! Get me some cheese!
Will somebody look up what flies eat please!”
Then the fly turned around and flew out of the door,
As in strolled our chocolate Labrador
Licking his lips, he stretched and lay down
And Dads great big smile turned into a frown.
He marched to the kitchen only to see,
Our delinquent dog had eaten our tea!
“Oh what an end”, groaned Dad with a sigh,
As our greedy dog smiled, and winked at the fly.